my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
