its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
ok first of all what the fuck
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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