Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
