I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
