Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
