I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
