how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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