...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
