I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I can text with my tongue
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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