did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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