He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
