When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
