I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize