Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
