Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
