eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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