Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize