every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
