The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
