Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
