The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I need to stop coming to work sober
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
