my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
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