The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
