After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Randomize
