There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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