I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Randomize
