that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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