We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
