Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
