this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
