He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
