hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
