you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
