why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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