I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
