Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Can I color on your dick again?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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