ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
