come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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