Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
