Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
