Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
