Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
