I must be too annoying 4 u.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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