Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
