Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
