yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
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