Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
