Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I hope mine doesn't look like that
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
