I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
