Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
