So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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