yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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