your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
