Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
