I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
