I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
