just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
