better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
