you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
