i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
