you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
