i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
