you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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