i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
