You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
