brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
So squirting runs in the family.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
