I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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