i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
